can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
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She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
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I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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