so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
