i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She even gives head with a lisp.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
