she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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