I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
