No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
