Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
