The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
