you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
