is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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