I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
