he thought i was a dude.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
PANTIES FOUND
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