can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
