remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
