College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
