well you can't waste a boner
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
