I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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