Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
