Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
