I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
