I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize