HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
