weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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