THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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