I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
