Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
