Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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