what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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