i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
