end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
well, you know. whores of a feather.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
