hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
you never un-have a 4some
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
