Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
