Midget sex pt 2 tonight
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
