I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
