Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize