If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
