I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
home. puking in laundry basket.
only you would photoshop your dick
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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