Got a toothbrush?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Your penis caused this!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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