Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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