He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
