Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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