When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
This couple is walking their pig around campus
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
