i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
