How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
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I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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