I just pynch a tree in the face
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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