I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
