I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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