I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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