Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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