Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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