how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
