I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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