wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I am naked and annoyed.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
