you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
