they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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