Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
