sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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