Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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