the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
