NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
