Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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