East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
