HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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