I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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