He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
