You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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