Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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